What is 'cancer free'?

It's been 6 years since they removed my bladder; and all the cancer it contained.  Since then there has been no sign of it returning. I am 'Cancer Free' and counting.  Right?

Over the Christmas holidays I noticed a small sore on my chest. I put some Bacitracin on it but it didn't clear up.

In January my doctor prescribed some stronger antibiotic cream. It didn't clear up after a couple weeks so she referred me to a dermatologist. It took me 3 weeks to get an appointment (they must be backed up).

The dermatologist said that it looked like a Basal Cell Carcinoma. She told me not to freak out because this is a very treatable form of cancer. She 'pealed' off the sore, along with some surrounding skin for a biopsy. She said that she'd call me in a few days with the results and sent me home.

No surprise; the biopsy came back positive and I am scheduled for outpatient surgery in mid April.

I know a ton of people who have had this, and it hasn't been a problem for them, but somewhere in the dusty matrix of my mind there is a small, shaky voice whispering a tune that I recognize (I've heard whole choruses sing it in the past.) This voice is so tiny that it is easily drown out by the rest of my life. But when it gets very dark and quiet in the middle of the night, I can sense - more than hear it - on the very edge of my consciousness saying; "You're no longer cancer free?"

Pride precedeth the fall (?)

My doctor retired recently. We've been together a long time. Change is hard.

My first visit with my new doctor came as a follow-up to a late night trip to the Emergency Room.  My head had been hurting for a few days and that night it became 'unbearable'. Of course I was worried about a tumor, or an aneurysm (you know, something that people have on Facebook.)  After they scanned my head and took some tests the only thing they found was that my blood pressure was like 200-something over 100-something. I was stunned at this. It's been pushing the limits lately but never anything close to this.

I've always prided myself in not needing any pills to keep me going. Many years ago, when my BP crept up, I changed my diet, quit drinking, began riding bike and lost a bunch of weight. Problem solved. But not this time.

The ER doctor injected some beta-blocker and told me to see my doctor ASAP. This could be a sign that my kidney (remaining good one) is having troubles. It's a cyclic thing: kidneys help control the blood pressure and high blood pressure can damage the kidneys. I made an appointment and saw my doctor the next day.  ]

Now we have started the process of selecting the correct BP treatment. There are two classes of BP meds. Each contains a wide variety to choose from. One class targets the kidney's control system. The other uses the heart's. Since we don't want to mess with the kidney, we will choose the heart.

My wife asked; "Well, what about the headaches? What did she say about those?" I passed the scan and all the neurological tests so it's most likely tension. Yeah, I've heard that before and I know the drill. It's another of those cyclic things but now that I know what it's NOT, I can relax a little. I know it works. And now that spring is here I can start riding bike again. This helps everything. 

P.S.
I've only seen my new doctor twice and both times she has asked if I was seeing a kidney specialist (Nephrologist). I have said 'no' and she's let it go. My annual physical is coming up and I will pursue this.

Another good year.

Going on five years...

So, after last year's exam, the ultrasound was switched from every 6-months to every year. The first of these annual tests happened the other day and it gave the same results/trends as the last few. It showed that what was working is still working and what's not so good really hasn't changed either. But that is really a good thing.

Ultrasound summary: "Extrarenal pelvis on the right ('consistent' with Neo-Bladder). Changes of prior bladder surgery. Progressive diminution in size of the left kidney." 

 In english: the left kidney is not swelling but is not really doing much of anything so it is slowly fading away. The right kidney is doing all the work and even though it does show some swelling, this is caused by normal reflux from the neo-bladder. (These man-made bladders don't have the valves that prevent this back flow to the kidneys.)

The blood tests show my renal function is stable (Creatinine hovering around 2.1).

In summary, we don't need to do any more ultrasounds as long as blood levels remain stable. This also means that we won't need to meet with our urologists/surgeon any more. We kinda liked him after all this and will miss these little visits.  But this also means that I am now too 'normal' to keep a specialist on retainer. And this is good. 

Knock on wood....

Four New Years

The fourth anniversary of my surgery has come and gone. 

I can't believe it's only been four years (actually my wife had to remind me that it was November 19) it seems like it's been a lifetime. These four years have been a gift for me.  If I hadn't had the surgery I'd have been dead at least three years by now.  I hope I am making the best of these new years.

I have done my best to do the following:

• Share time with our two grandchildren.
• Share time with our kids.
• Study writing; fiction and non-fiction (on this blog and others).
• Study guitar (learn a new song - at least one - every month). 
• Volunteer a few hours a week along with my wife.
• Maintain the thriving young forest/woodlot which we started planting 15 years ago.
• Study woodworking - making things out of trees gown on - and harvested from - family woodlots.
• Umpire youth baseball/softball and coach junior bowling.

So this holiday season - along with the three before it - has had great meaning for me. Every day I take a breath and think how happy I am (like I know the other shoe will fall but I'm not sitting around waiting for it. ) I thank God for letting me hang around a little bit longer. I hope she thinks it's worth it.

I hope the new year brings you health and happiness.

Good News at six-month exam.

 My doctor (Urologist/Surgeon) came into the exam room with a big smile on his face and said; "It's all good news." And then; "Hi".  I had just come from the ultra-sound exam of my kidneys and bladder (neo-bladder) and he had these results and my blood tests in hand.  The ultrasound showed the swelling of my 'bad' left kidney has gone down significantly and my creatinine level is the lowest its been in two years (2.0).  My 'good' right kidney looked normal (slight swelling but that's normal with neo-bladders  - and even more so since it is still doing most of the work.

I reminded him that he had once said that a kidney that has quit working will shrink (did he say atrophy?) and he agreed that that may be what is going on here. But it's not causing any problems and the remaining kidney seems to be doing just fine.

And then, as if to punctuate the good news, he said he didn't want to see me for a whole year. That's just fine with me because as much as I like this guy, historically these meetings have brought bad news about half the time.

Presure

In general, pressure is not good for our health. Our bodies sense different kinds of pressure in different ways. Sometimes we recognize it right away and do something to relieve it, and sometimes we don't. Either we don't recognize the signs or we ignore them until ...

I need my head examined (??)

About a month ago my head started hurting. When I shook my head it hurt. Like there was a steel ball in there and it was banging around. I could take a Tylenol and it would go away so I wasn't too worried about it - at first. Then a friend died of brain cancer. And another one had a tumor removed from behind her eyes. And my head still hurt after a couple weeks. And it seemed to be getting worse - not better.

So I visited my doctor. After a full neurological exam he said it was stress - or arthritis in my neck. He could take X-ray's of my neck and send me for PT if I wanted.  I passed. He said a couple Tylenol are okay. I have been fearful of pain medicines because of my kidneys but he assured me that Tylenol is hard on the livers of drinkers - but I don't drink so I should be fine.

A couple weeks later my headaches seemed worse. Another visit to my doctor and slightly different symptoms; pressure on my ears. He again assured me that it wasn't a tumor and suggested a decongestant. I took a Xirtec and felt immediate relief in places I didn't know I had pressure. This was nice but by morning my head was really hurting (I get this from antihistamines.)

Once my sinuses recovered I was feeling pretty good and resolved that this was, indeed, a stress headache.  I only had a couple days of work remaining before I re-retired and even thought I didn't think my work was the least bit stressful, perhaps leaving it was. In the nine months that I'd worked there I'd come to know all the folks in this small department, and they all seemed to be very appreciative of my work and the help that I provided. Yes, it's very hard walk away from that. 

Too full (another kind of pressure)

My wife won tickets to a pre-screening of the movie "A million ways to die in the west." I had a softball double header scheduled ( I umpire) but it rained out so we went to dinner and a movie. As I waited for the movie to start, I thought I should go to the bathroom. I felt a little 'full', you know. With a Neo-bladder this sensation is very faint and easy to ignore. I ignored it. The movie was good so I was effectively distracted. Walking out I realized that all the cups of coffee and glasses of water at dinner had built into something that felt like a cramp. But unlike normal 'gas' cramps this didn't go away after relieving the pressure. I'm sure I stretched something that shouldn't have been stretched and it left a 'bruise' in my bladder - for want of a better word. For a couple days it was very painful to even walk ( thankfully they re-scheduled the double header three days later instead of one.)

 I have had this feeling before - since the surgery - and it doesn't do much good to complain about it because nobody understands. But I was very careful to keep my bladder empty and it seemed to fix itself just fine - in time.

Oh, did I mention that I re-retired. It's been a week and it feels great! Yes, my headaches are pretty much gone. I don't know - I'm just sayin'.

Retired again

My brother is a bit older than me and he has retired three times. Last fall, when I told him I'd gone back to work, he told me;  "It's okay to come out of retirement if, and only if, the job is absolutely the most fun thing you can possibly think of doing." It was - and then - it wasn't.


So here I am once again, sitting in Peet's Coffee Shop after my morning bike ride. After I finish my coffee I will ride back home to a long list of favorite activities - many of which I have put on hold in favor of work. Sound familiar? There is a stool on my workbench that has been waiting to be glued-up and finished for a year. And there are shelves to make and a table to finish. There is a boat that needs to be floated and a fishing pole that needs to be flexed. There are plants in the greenhouse that need to be moved to the garden. There are baseball and softball games that need an umpire. There are trees that need to be pruned and brush that needs to be cleared. And there are web sites that need updating.

 Last time I retired I got bladder cancer. This time I am hoping for better results. My last day of work was May 23, 2014.