What a week (pt 1).

It's been 11 days since surgery, actually, and I could have written a book about all the details with all the ups and downs (maybe I will). I didn't blog and barely kept up with email over the time I was in the hospital because the Internet connection was limited (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). And, frankly, I was just too busy getting myself well enough to leave. So at this point I would simply like to think back, consulting my notes, and touch on the highlights.


Preparing to go under: Anesthesiology is always the scariest part of surgery to me. I don't like being out of control. What if something happens and they can't wake me up? So I decided to condition myself to help me wake up when the time came; like a distance runner builds up carbs and liquids in the body before the race to carry them through any difficulties.

The night before I began envisioning all the reasons I had to wake up.

• I pictured my wife, Debi and how much we need each other; all the plans we have that are waiting and all the dreams we have as yet unrealized. 
• I thought of my kids and all the things I have yet to do for them, or teach them, or show them. Since they are grown, it is probably a matter of how much they can teach me - but learning these things is very important to me. 
• I felt the hugs of my grand kids and replayed in my mind the sparkle in their eyes and the sound of their laughter. I need to be here to be their friend and confidant. And to take my turn reading to them at night and singing their three songs before they go to sleep. I don't sing as well as their parents but they don't seem to mind. (The last time I sang to my granddaughter, as I was leaving her bedroom, she said to me; "Thank you grandpa")
• I recounted the thoughts, wishes, and prayers that I have received from family, friends - old and new - who have reached out to me with advice, assurances, heart-felt support. 
• And finally I thought of all the things I have yet to do in life - many of which I don't even know about yet. 

Debi and I asked the anesthesiologist if he'd gotten a good nights' sleep. We asked the surgeon if he was feeling good and psyched for this surgery. All resounding "yes's".

The last thing I remember was how perky everyone was in the OR. Past surgeries I remember feeling like the room was empty except for me and the anesthesiologist. Here everyone was talking to me and laughing with me - they'd had their morning coffee and were raring to go. I barely had time to say my little prayer; "Now I lay me down to sleep and pray the Lord my soul ....."