Urologist has some bad news. It is in fact cancer and it has progressed into the muscle wall. This is an aggressive form and the recommended treatment is to remove the Bladder before it can spread.
This is the first time in a long time that a doctor has said that; 'someone as young as you' would dictate a particular treatment. Usually it's; 'someone my AGE'. There are many options for replacing the function of the bladder and I am young so they will probably take a small section of my intestine and form a pouch to replace the bladder. They connect all the old plumbing (ureters from the kidneys and urethra to the penis). Since they keep the nerves with the intestine when you need to empty the bladder you get a feeling of fullness. It's a different sensation but one that you can get used to detecting.
Controlling continence is done with the muscles around the urethra. This is how it's normally done but as we get older we get lazy and let the Prostrate muscles control. She recommended working on exercising the old control system before the surgery (to restore muscle tone) since the prostrate will be taken out with the bladder (it's all one thing).
It's hard to remember much after you hear the word 'cancer'. We're both used to the shock the body takes in a tragedy and the numbness in the body (and brain) when it kicks in for self defense.